"We're ironically bonded!"
"Anna. We're ionically bonded..."

"Squamish!"

"Strip cheese. hahahaha!"

"Sookeeeeh is mine!"

"Toszer?"

"I know Megan, I slept with her! No, wait..."

"hoof -- RAAR!"

"I feel sicky..."

*strokes nose*

"One minute I was sitting there dreaming about painting my nails rainbow colours in a camper van, the next minute BANG SHIT WHOAH. Then POWAAAAAAH DRRRRRILLLLL BUZZZ BUZZZ."

"What flavour are Smurfs?"
"Blue?"

"Hey, Crustof."
"Yeah, Crustopher?"

"He wants cake and ice-cream and you can only have cake!"

"Buttfuck. Dimwit!"

"Dobby sex!"

"He has three emotions: grumpy, builder and drunk!"

"I don't know what you've heard of prisoners, but they don't use their bums as cupboards!"

"5, 3... Where was I going with that?!"

"Did you feel his dingdong?"

"It's because he has dyspraxia!"

"And then! You meet an elephant you can talk to... and it takes you to Kenya... and poisons you."

"Be careful with that stick (too late)"

"Oh yes, I'm a model.... of feet."

" I just nearly died typing this as i didn't chew my scone properly and choked!"

"Or the massive wedgie just cut off circulation to the nice part of his brain."

"I was calling your bluff and you were like KAPOWI!"

"Bears. n.
1.Big hairy chunks of snarl. Big teeth, powerful body, all-consuming love of salmon.
2.Husky, large, manly gay men, with a lot of body hair.
3.Beverages consumed by the illiterate." I freaking love Rum&Monkey!

"When life hands you watermelons... Make lemonade!"