Saturday, December 31, 2011

Yes, YOU!
With your tuts
It's on TV
It's in music
It's infecting your children
Your grown children
Over twenty years of age
You're still sheltering them
From the freedom of choice

I am not the monster of your nightmares
I am a girl
A girl
A girl

I am not a robot
I feel every barb you tear into me with
Every sting on your tentacles
God I'm sorry
So sorry
For being something different to you
I think perhaps you'd understand
If I started crying.

Then you'd know
What it's like
Hearing those same asides
That old fortissimo

"Such a dyke."

Well, I am a fucking dyke
A rug muncher
A pervent
If that means that you can understand that I like more than one kind of person
Then I will take it
I will take every piece of slander you cast in my direction
If it means I can respect you again.
"I did actually try to say 'HHHHHHHHHH'. that's how cool I am. (Let's ignore the part where I also failed)"

"BRB. Crawling under this rock."

"im not allowed to cook... i burned salad. true story."

"hmmmm~ another slave? i suppose i can take you. just be glad i pay in brownies..."

"My new favorite word: haboob"

"That reminds me of flan"

"KAYLA IS A NINJA. MAYBE SHE'S STEALING OUR CAKE!!"

"MEI IF YOU WERE NORMAL, THEN SO WOULD CHARLIE SHEEN."

"Yeah little boy Uterus... He is our pride and joy.
He will be a pimp just like me ;)"

"Didn't my swagger give it away? I drink beer, swear like a sailor, whistle at women as they walk by, play hockey and have a firm buttocks that the ladies just can't resist."

"Don't be like me and get stuck with 20 kids, a mistress, and a stalker who's cheating on her uninterested boyfriend.
It won't work out in the end.
True story. "

"Only a few bite and you might get licked by the occasional person, but otherwise, we're totally normal. :sean:

"Well mei, when a donkey and a dragon love each other very much they have special dragon and donkey hugs."

"OMG YES
BECAUS THEYRE DOGS
BECAUSE
AND I USED A CAT SOUND"

Friday, December 16, 2011

you have no idea how it feels.
all i want to do is scream
I want to break things
i want to cry
and cry
and cry
until someone hears and wants to help
all i'm searching for is acceptance
and you might feel open minded
but those little comments
that sneer you don't surpress
it's like a fucking knife in my throat.
sometimes when you speak
all i want to do is stand up and walk out
tell you that it hurts
make you feel the tightness at the back of my jaw
the sting in my eyes.
you have no idea how it feels.

Friday, November 11, 2011

"I know, their innocent little minds! Let's do our best to corrupt them!"

"She has the personality of a whelk."

"I predict a whine-athon."

"I wanted SPIT!"

"You're such a whorebag!"

"*sings*You're playing with fiiiiiiire..."
"No I'm not it's not physically possible!"

"What are you doing, you're not a dinosaur!"

"BADOING... I'm bouncing off you!"

"I wish I wasn't such a vagina..."

"I want to see the YUM dog!"

"Jabby jabby hearty hearty!"

"I never thought there was a colour that matched hypothermia!"

"That would be because "comebacks" and ":(" are really good friends and just want to be together?"

"...imagine the statement for referal "beat sum1 up well bad wiv ma mafs txt bk""

*conversation pauses*
"Where you just staring at him?"
"Yep."
"Me too."

"I refuse to go to prison for public sex. I'm not even guilty!"

"Bless your little Gaga heart!"

"This is so stressful. All I want to do is learn about triangles."

"I USED TO CHEW HIS VIDEOS WHEN I WAS A WEE LASSS"

"its thickys birthday
YAAAAAAAAAAY"
"YAYAYAYAYAY
LET'S GIVE HIM A BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!
the surprise is
HIS SOULMATE IS RIMMY!"
"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY THAT'S THE BEST GIFT EVER!"
"HE'LL BE SO PLEASED!"
"HE WILL :D:D
WHAT A BRILLIANT DAY IT WILL BE"
"all shall REJOICE!
and Rimky shall live happily ever after ♥♥
I shall plan their wedding
thicky will dress in a large, white dress with mechanical wasps (too hard for butterflies)
and Rimmy will wear pajamas."
"I just lopled."
"I think I may go in wedding planning as a profession :')"
"YOU SHOULD :D:D"
"damn, I am saving this conversation for future reference!
so when Rimky finally tie the knot, I can say a proud "IT WAS US! WE THOUGHT OF IT!""
"we can proudly raise our hands skyward and recieve the applause of the world!"

"Everyday's one big orgasm with you."

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I remember you as if it were yesterday
The boy with the dimples
A recent aquisition of the school's
How you made my seven year old heart beat faster
I smiled wider to show how happy you could be if we held hands

And now, so many years later
it comes to me like a dream
and I smile, watching you across a room
recite poetry with a dry mouth.

Oh Lord, doesn't time fly?
Only months ago I could've strangled you
Now I love
I love
Oh heart, cease your beating.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I've played all my cards
So let's settle the score
Count with me, now
Tinker
Tailor
Soldier
Whore.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Oh, mother me.

i'm feeling like
this right is wrong
this feeling's gone
again

i'm dancing like
i'd fight this song
hate this song
everything is wrong

and when you ask i'll say
nothing's changed
because it has
nothing's changed

and when she comes you know
i'd do it again
break you again
claw us down

don't try to tell me it's wrong
i don't love you, darling
don't try to tell me it's wrong
i'm not afraid of this heartache

so you put your arms around me
you just smother me
oh, mother me
mother me.

you can't let me be free
just try to help me
oh, mother me
loving me.

it's been two years and still i
i can't try to leave
it's been five months and yet i
i'm too tired to leave
cry to sleep

i know you're trying to help but
she's under me
all over me

i know you hold me tight but
you're not in my skin
injected in

so you just put your arms around me
you smother me
oh, mother me
mother me

you can't face that i'm me
but you cradle me
whisper 'baby'

'I'm trying to help you through this
'I know that you need to do this
'I don't want you to wake
'And find that we're all gone.'

Put your arms around me
try to smother me
why don't you mother me
mother me?

I don't need a bandage
try to stem the flow
it's time to
let me go!

put your helpless arms
back by your sides

oh sweet child

i will smother you
smother you
what
will
your
mother
do

Thursday, January 6, 2011

"We're ironically bonded!"
"Anna. We're ionically bonded..."

"Squamish!"

"Strip cheese. hahahaha!"

"Sookeeeeh is mine!"

"Toszer?"

"I know Megan, I slept with her! No, wait..."

"hoof -- RAAR!"

"I feel sicky..."

*strokes nose*

"One minute I was sitting there dreaming about painting my nails rainbow colours in a camper van, the next minute BANG SHIT WHOAH. Then POWAAAAAAH DRRRRRILLLLL BUZZZ BUZZZ."

"What flavour are Smurfs?"
"Blue?"

"Hey, Crustof."
"Yeah, Crustopher?"

"He wants cake and ice-cream and you can only have cake!"

"Buttfuck. Dimwit!"

"Dobby sex!"

"He has three emotions: grumpy, builder and drunk!"

"I don't know what you've heard of prisoners, but they don't use their bums as cupboards!"

"5, 3... Where was I going with that?!"

"Did you feel his dingdong?"

"It's because he has dyspraxia!"

"And then! You meet an elephant you can talk to... and it takes you to Kenya... and poisons you."

"Be careful with that stick (too late)"

"Oh yes, I'm a model.... of feet."

" I just nearly died typing this as i didn't chew my scone properly and choked!"

"Or the massive wedgie just cut off circulation to the nice part of his brain."

"I was calling your bluff and you were like KAPOWI!"

"Bears. n.
1.Big hairy chunks of snarl. Big teeth, powerful body, all-consuming love of salmon.
2.Husky, large, manly gay men, with a lot of body hair.
3.Beverages consumed by the illiterate." I freaking love Rum&Monkey!

"When life hands you watermelons... Make lemonade!"