The speakers bounce
and bodies swing and throw themselves
but I sit in the dark
with whose hand on my leg?

it's you.

breath hitches as you climb,
fear of being found and creeping
excitement soaring

do it.

no, don't!

but do.
i wish we could
so we will
even if only i feel it
it'll be our secret

please don't stand to go
i need to feel you here
to be almost reality.

Some truths I lie about

1. My heart breaks for Maria every time I watch West Side story
2. I rely on music and film to break hearts, so I can wrap mine tighter.
3. I love fantasy more than RL most of the time
4. I get so miserable I watch sad films just to let it out
5. I never let anyone know any of this
6. I feel fine

i've got nothing to do today
so i guess i'll sit around
and wait for you

i dont wanna play the fool today
but i'm still sitting here
waiting for you

you wont come to stay today
you wont ever say 'today,
i'm going to love you'

but i'll still wait and watch today
hoping that you'll come around
and be that kind of true

I swear i didn't mean it
you're not a whore
you didn't do all that shit
but i did mean what i said
at the time

and i swear i couldn't help it
you were there
and i got a bit pissed
and through the drunken haze
i didn't mind

but i know that you keep defending me
even though i keep denying what i see

i can see light
trickling through your hair, through your eyes
i can see waves
crashing over your heart, and mine
i want us to drown so we
have an excuse to say
it wasn't our fault
we couldn't help it
we were just
born
this
way

I'm sorry that i meant it
when i said that i couldn't hack it
but i know that you wont give up easy

i don't like giving you up
but you and i know its tough
no one else ever seems to want to say

they can see light falling straight from the stars
shining on you, dazzling us
they can see sunshine on our lips
it burns where it touches
and causes these scars
so we seem to being hiding
who we are
we were just
born
this
way...

i want to keep hiding
i want to escape
i want to run far
run far away

where we can say

there's a certain light that covers us
a certain love, a certain trust
a certain sort of abstract smile
there's a kind of weakness in the knees
and a kind of smile in the kisses
i wish that they could only see

the light
trickling through your hair, through your eyes
the waves,
crashing over your heart, and mine
the way that we're drowning to have an excuse to say
it's not our fault
we couldn't help it
i wanted to change
but shes so perfect
and I'm told that i was just
i was just

a drop of light in a dark ocean
a blinding star, a potent potion
a girl who wanted what she couldn't have

but we're fine just being us
we can hide the pain and the lust
we can both run away
'cause we were born this way.

i heard him pray
it was just the other day
he was on his knees
begging 'spare her, take me'
i lifted my head
he caught my interest
from the hospital bed
he looked at me
and i could see
the darkness had taken him

i said 'boy, don't die for
someone who's already dead.
'boy, don't cry for someone
who can't cry back.'
he just smiled
like i was a child
said 'i don't think it's failure
to never give up'

i heard him laugh
when i crawled in last
he crawled beside me
trying to believe
but i know I'm gone
from these hills of gold and bronze
passed away
like summer to winter rain

i said 'boy, don't die for someone
who's already dead.
'boy, don't cry for someone
who can't cry back'
he just smiled
like i was a child
said 'i don't think it's failure
to never give up'

and i know he'll keep waiting
though my heart is failing
if i close my eyes
he fears they might never open
but i hear my heartbeat
through my ears
and i know I'll keep fighting
though the end is near

i said 'boy, don't die for someone
who's already dead.
'boy, don't cry for someone
who can't cry back.'
he just smiled
like i was a child
said 'i don't think it's failure
to never give up...'

Song -- Mess

do you think my new frames
are hiding my tearful eyes
because to me they're worthless

i feel the sting of pain
it's clawing at my hear-t
because i just saw them, not us.

i can smile though my heart is breaking
wish you well in my bridesmaids dress
he can't tell it's the feeling i'm faking
he think i'm just giving you good luck

goddamnit i love him
and i told you so last week
i'm trying to hide my fears
in finding this bittersweet

it's not sweet, it's just bitter
like the vodka i keep knocking back
don't touch me
i need space
but hand me the cognac

i feel like i should be screaming
but i can't find the energy
i feel like i shouldn't be beaming
as the photographer's camera sings

but i can smile though my heart is breaking
wish you well in my bridesmaids dress
you can't tell it's the feeling i'm faking
this is such a mess

if you want me to stay then just say so
but you know i'll only want to cry
if you want me to leave then just say so
but i might cause a scene this time

...did you know he was once mine.

Song -- Tess

sometimes i get startled
by the way life sends a shock
whenever i am settled

i was only watching
watching how your lips moved
as you spoke of love and living

then it hit me:
i just wanted to test those lips
and see if they were fit to kiss
soft and pink like ice candy
to see if you too... wanted me.

i never wanted it before
but suddenly everything was clear
sex never seemed an issue
girls and girls they do not mix
but what if they did?

oh if they did, tess
my lips would find your cheek
oh if they did, tess
i'd want to push you over the brink
just to see if you screamed

no no, this is wrong
i cannot think of you that way
you're a friend; a girl
i couldn't ever lead you astray

but you're two years older
and two years more beautiful
are you two years wiser
do you see where i want you to be?

oh if you did, tess
your lips would find my cheek
oh if you did, tess
you'd push me over the brink
...i think i'd scream

oh if you did, tess...

oh if you did, tess...

oh if you did [cresc.]
if you did
if you did
if you did
tess you're yelling words i cannot hear!

oh if i could, tess
i'd push my lips against your skin
oh if i could, tess
i'd make you scream
make you scream
make you scream

...would it make you happy?

xE