"I know, their innocent little minds! Let's do our best to corrupt them!"

"She has the personality of a whelk."

"I predict a whine-athon."

"I wanted SPIT!"

"You're such a whorebag!"

"*sings*You're playing with fiiiiiiire..."
"No I'm not it's not physically possible!"

"What are you doing, you're not a dinosaur!"

"BADOING... I'm bouncing off you!"

"I wish I wasn't such a vagina..."

"I want to see the YUM dog!"

"Jabby jabby hearty hearty!"

"I never thought there was a colour that matched hypothermia!"

"That would be because "comebacks" and ":(" are really good friends and just want to be together?"

"...imagine the statement for referal "beat sum1 up well bad wiv ma mafs txt bk""

*conversation pauses*
"Where you just staring at him?"
"Yep."
"Me too."

"I refuse to go to prison for public sex. I'm not even guilty!"

"Bless your little Gaga heart!"

"This is so stressful. All I want to do is learn about triangles."

"I USED TO CHEW HIS VIDEOS WHEN I WAS A WEE LASSS"

"its thickys birthday
YAAAAAAAAAAY"
"YAYAYAYAYAY
LET'S GIVE HIM A BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!
the surprise is
HIS SOULMATE IS RIMMY!"
"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY THAT'S THE BEST GIFT EVER!"
"HE'LL BE SO PLEASED!"
"HE WILL :D:D
WHAT A BRILLIANT DAY IT WILL BE"
"all shall REJOICE!
and Rimky shall live happily ever after ♥♥
I shall plan their wedding
thicky will dress in a large, white dress with mechanical wasps (too hard for butterflies)
and Rimmy will wear pajamas."
"I just lopled."
"I think I may go in wedding planning as a profession :')"
"YOU SHOULD :D:D"
"damn, I am saving this conversation for future reference!
so when Rimky finally tie the knot, I can say a proud "IT WAS US! WE THOUGHT OF IT!""
"we can proudly raise our hands skyward and recieve the applause of the world!"

"Everyday's one big orgasm with you."

I remember you as if it were yesterday
The boy with the dimples
A recent aquisition of the school's
How you made my seven year old heart beat faster
I smiled wider to show how happy you could be if we held hands

And now, so many years later
it comes to me like a dream
and I smile, watching you across a room
recite poetry with a dry mouth.

Oh Lord, doesn't time fly?
Only months ago I could've strangled you
Now I love
I love
Oh heart, cease your beating.

I've played all my cards
So let's settle the score
Count with me, now
Tinker
Tailor
Soldier
Whore.

Oh, mother me.

i'm feeling like
this right is wrong
this feeling's gone
again

i'm dancing like
i'd fight this song
hate this song
everything is wrong

and when you ask i'll say
nothing's changed
because it has
nothing's changed

and when she comes you know
i'd do it again
break you again
claw us down

don't try to tell me it's wrong
i don't love you, darling
don't try to tell me it's wrong
i'm not afraid of this heartache

so you put your arms around me
you just smother me
oh, mother me
mother me.

you can't let me be free
just try to help me
oh, mother me
loving me.

it's been two years and still i
i can't try to leave
it's been five months and yet i
i'm too tired to leave
cry to sleep

i know you're trying to help but
she's under me
all over me

i know you hold me tight but
you're not in my skin
injected in

so you just put your arms around me
you smother me
oh, mother me
mother me

you can't face that i'm me
but you cradle me
whisper 'baby'

'I'm trying to help you through this
'I know that you need to do this
'I don't want you to wake
'And find that we're all gone.'

Put your arms around me
try to smother me
why don't you mother me
mother me?

I don't need a bandage
try to stem the flow
it's time to
let me go!

put your helpless arms
back by your sides

oh sweet child

i will smother you
smother you
what
will
your
mother
do

"We're ironically bonded!"
"Anna. We're ionically bonded..."

"Squamish!"

"Strip cheese. hahahaha!"

"Sookeeeeh is mine!"

"Toszer?"

"I know Megan, I slept with her! No, wait..."

"hoof -- RAAR!"

"I feel sicky..."

*strokes nose*

"One minute I was sitting there dreaming about painting my nails rainbow colours in a camper van, the next minute BANG SHIT WHOAH. Then POWAAAAAAH DRRRRRILLLLL BUZZZ BUZZZ."

"What flavour are Smurfs?"
"Blue?"

"Hey, Crustof."
"Yeah, Crustopher?"

"He wants cake and ice-cream and you can only have cake!"

"Buttfuck. Dimwit!"

"Dobby sex!"

"He has three emotions: grumpy, builder and drunk!"

"I don't know what you've heard of prisoners, but they don't use their bums as cupboards!"

"5, 3... Where was I going with that?!"

"Did you feel his dingdong?"

"It's because he has dyspraxia!"

"And then! You meet an elephant you can talk to... and it takes you to Kenya... and poisons you."

"Be careful with that stick (too late)"

"Oh yes, I'm a model.... of feet."

" I just nearly died typing this as i didn't chew my scone properly and choked!"

"Or the massive wedgie just cut off circulation to the nice part of his brain."

"I was calling your bluff and you were like KAPOWI!"

"Bears. n.
1.Big hairy chunks of snarl. Big teeth, powerful body, all-consuming love of salmon.
2.Husky, large, manly gay men, with a lot of body hair.
3.Beverages consumed by the illiterate." I freaking love Rum&Monkey!

"When life hands you watermelons... Make lemonade!"

The speakers bounce
and bodies swing and throw themselves
but I sit in the dark
with whose hand on my leg?

it's you.

breath hitches as you climb,
fear of being found and creeping
excitement soaring

do it.

no, don't!

but do.
i wish we could
so we will
even if only i feel it
it'll be our secret

please don't stand to go
i need to feel you here
to be almost reality.

Some truths I lie about

1. My heart breaks for Maria every time I watch West Side story
2. I rely on music and film to break hearts, so I can wrap mine tighter.
3. I love fantasy more than RL most of the time
4. I get so miserable I watch sad films just to let it out
5. I never let anyone know any of this
6. I feel fine